The woman on the other end of the telephone was very polite when she gave her name, said she was doing a voter survey in my area, then asked to speak with the youngest male in the household who was over the age of 18.
"The youngest male in the house would be my cat," I said.
"Your dad?"
"No, my cat."
"Your cat? Oh, um, well."
She then went back to her script and asked to speak with the youngest female over the age of 18. I told her that would be me, but I'm not registered to vote (not entirely true, but that's beside the point).
"Oh, well in that case, I think I had better talk to the cat," she replied.
Many of you may think of it as a photo caption, but in the world of journalism, that descriptive text beneath a photograph is called a cutline.
So I opened the newspaper that landed at my front door this morning, glancing through it as my pancakes cooked, and I got to the third section that's all about entertainment, food and travel. I flipped to the back page and there was a small photo of what appeared to be a building. Beneath it was the text, "Need cutline info please!!!"
I was just watching TV news, and the reporter said in a very dramatic tone that the city of Turlock (south of here, with a population of about 55,000 -- just smaller than Lodi) had "already set aside $80,000" to fight a lawsuit.
I'm sorry, but until the city of Turlock puts $6 million into a lawsuit, then borrows another $16 million from Wall Street, dramatic vocal italics are not warranted. As far as I know, not one area TV news show has covered the legal drama in Lodi. I guess they can't add up the dollars, or if they can, maybe they realized that 30 seconds of dramatic news just won't capture it.
I nearly forgot to link to this article, but Thomas D. reminded me. To sum it up, a Lodi detective's step-daughter nearly became the star of "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance," the show I mentioned in my last post. The detective investigates sex crimes for a living, and I'd love to see what she would have done as a parent on this show. Alas, that is not to be.
This was another case in which I knew about something but had to sit on the information for a while. I first heard about it shortly after a camera crew visited the detective's house, but she didn't want to jeopardize anything. Then time went by and she knew her step-daughter hadn't gotten onto the show. But they didn't know if she'd be on another one, so the waiting game continued. Finally I had the go-ahead, but then I went through a mild version of phone tag.
But enough of that. You go read the article while I watch the finale of this show and wonder what it would be like to have a certain detective there, watching her step-daughter supposedly marry an oaf.
Days before Mel Gibson's controversial "The Passion of the Christ" movie will hit theaters, his father has gone on a tirade about the Holocaust, saying it was "mostly fictional." Denial of the Holocaust is one of the things that gets me more frustrated and mad than most topics. With all the countless documents on the Holocaust -- first-hand accounts, photographs, etc. -- how can anyone say it didn't happen? I guess some people are just in denial that anything bad could really happen.
The Gibson family, meanwhile, has supposedly said Hutton Gibson was tricked into the interview. If you ask me, that's even worse than saying nothing at all. That article goes on to say that Mel Gibson has said he does not share the same extreme views as his father. I guess that's something.
I was flipping through the half dozen channels I can get for free through the rabbit ears sitting on top of my television. And then I stumbled across the atrocity known as "The Littlest Groom." A bunch of two-foot-tall women were parading past an equally short guy who, at one point, told the camera, "I'm not a flirt. I'm a ladies man." Um, no thanks.
What on earth are these crazy television producers thinking? No, a better question is, what makes them come up with these loony ideas? There was Temptation Island, or "Let's Break Up Couples!" There's The Apprentice, or "Let's Make More Snobs." There's My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Fiance, or "Let's Find a Wanna-be Actress Who Can't Act" (though I do have a valid reason to watch it tonight and next week). There are the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows, or "Let's See If We Can Talk People Into Getting Married On National Television." And there's Average Joe, or "Let's Make Fools Out of People Who Have Already Been Made Fun of For Their Whole Lives." That last one bothers me a lot. Why? Because I've gone and gotten into watching it. I blame that entirely on several people who happen to work at a certain police department.
Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just joining the masses of people who blast reality shows, yet somehow wind up watching at least part of them. But at least I can say I'm not interested in The Littlest Groom show. I'm not even going to find a link for it, even though this is a weblog and weblogs are supposedly depositories for links.
If you're following the Martha Stewart trial, this picture will amuse you. If you're not following the trial, this picture will sum it all up. It's yet more proof of photographer Noah Grey's utter brilliance.
You hear about reporters being asked to leave or getting kicked out of places. So, what happens to the story the reporter was after? It gets more interesting. I drove to the Bay Area on Thursday, in search of Envision Law Group, a law firm that's threatening bankruptcy because it was fired by the city. Not only was it an enjoyable drive because recent rains have made everything green, but I had a ton of fun writing the article. (I'd love to have written more about some of the funny things that happened to me while I was in Lafayette, but it's not stuff I can post on the Internet for the world to see. E-mail me if you want to know more.)
Oh, and in case any of my loyal readers are actually following this truly insane -- and truly big -- groundwater contamination lawsuit, this is the latest thing to happen in the case.
A correctional officer has been busted for testing a Taser gun on an inmate. If the inmate tries to say he suffered any long-term damage, I'm going to have some serious issues with it.
It's the same Taser gun I allowed cops to shock me (or see the PDF with photos) with, and I suffered no long-term effects -- or short-term ones, for that matter. Sure, it's kind of freaky to be hit with 50,000 volts, but it's over very quickly. I think it was was wrong for the correctional officer to misuse a weapon, but this better not turn into another frivolous lawsuit.
Voting survey
The woman on the other end of the telephone was very polite when she gave her name, said she was doing a voter survey in my area, then asked to speak with the youngest male in the household who was over the age of 18."The youngest male in the house would be my cat," I said.
"Your dad?"
"No, my cat."
"Your cat? Oh, um, well."
She then went back to her script and asked to speak with the youngest female over the age of 18. I told her that would be me, but I'm not registered to vote (not entirely true, but that's beside the point).
"Oh, well in that case, I think I had better talk to the cat," she replied.
Posted by Layla at 1:31 PM, February 29, 2004. Comments (0)